


Butterfly on Your Shoulder (Please Don't Go)

by AmbroseRivers



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbroseRivers/pseuds/AmbroseRivers
Summary: She wants Sayaka to stay because not everyone gets a second chance.





	Butterfly on Your Shoulder (Please Don't Go)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Tumblr prompt and was written for my boyfriend since he is the one who introduced me to Madoka... and I'm a big fan of alternate universe so... here we are!  
> It has been a while since I really sat down to write so this might sound a bit clunky but I hope that you enjoy it!  
> The warnings for this piece are: Mentions of death and angst.

It was a windy night.

“Great.” Kyoko muttered. She brushed away her unruly bangs with a harsh flick of her wrist, uncaring of the juice splattering against them from the apple crushed in-between her red and bruised fingers. “Perfect…”

Sayaka was late.

_She should have been here by now…_

“She better have a good reason for making me wait.” Kyoko’s already white-knuckled grip tightened while her gaze drifted to the mess of lights below and the ripped, dirt-streaked fabric of her dress whipped around her legs.

She sank her teeth into her snack with a huff. “That’s not…”

“Nice?” The familiar voice made her heart jump and for a second, her tongue couldn’t move. The weight and mushiness of the mutilated pulp threatened to tumble down her throat as Sayaka dropped beside her with a sharp breath and a wispy chuckle. “You should know me better than that, Kyoko-chan.”

Kyoko sucked in a deep breath as she regained control of her body, grinding her teeth.

There was pounding in her ears and her pulse drummed against her veins, echoing the violent, stretched out  _thud thud thud_ when Sayaka had pushed her away.

She could see how Homura bared her teeth, how she tried to bury Sayaka in that labyrinth when she pulled the trigger.

_Why are you so ready to die?_

_Homura will never forgive you if you throw away Madoka’s wish._

“You’re one to talk…”

_Why?_

Kyoko swallowed thickly, taste lost, before she continued, staring into Sayaka’s exhausted eyes. “I had that witch right where I wanted her.”

Even with dried crimson streaking her pale skin and a weeping lip, there was the glint of something fierce and Sayaka clicked her tongue weakly, bumping Kyoko with her thigh lightly.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention, nerves crackling and buzzing as the chaos reverberating in her blood pounded quicker, harder through her body.

_Why do you refuse to help yourself? To survive…_

Kyoko couldn’t breathe.

_I can’t do this…_

She balled her fist as the embers of an almost forgotten emotion began to smolder from where it was buried under the mountain of ashes that made up her life: the sacrifice for a father who had turned his back on her so easily, the dulled but still ever present ache in her chest from when she would walk the streets alone in a city that seemed lifetimes away from Mitakihara, and…

_Again._

Kyoko’s focus drifted from Sayaka’s small, brittle smile to the gentle slope of her shoulder and the dark navy curves of the butterfly’s wings branded there.

_She didn’t want to drown._

Her chest heaved, clawing for the oxygen being stolen from her at the worried curl of those lips.

_Not again._

The moonlight glimmered in those ocean colored irises, reflecting back the pain and resignation of the girl who had been wretched from the brink of a deathless death against her own will.

_For once…_

“You know what?”

Kyoko’s lungs needed air—no. They were begging for air.

“Fuck this.” She refused to blink as the salt gathered at the corners of her eyes, blinding her.

She wondered if Sayaka had forgotten.

If it had slipped Sayaka’s mind… that all those years ago… she had reached out to Kyoko when her soul gem seethed and curdled with her misery.

How they had stood in that darkened arcade…

And…

How Kyoko had offered her hand.

She had trembled that day.

Sayaka should know… because the pocky sticks had been rattling in the box.

_Can’t you see?_

She wouldn’t rip off another shard of her pulsing heart without a fight, especially to someone who was so eager to die—again.

_For once—_

“If you want to throw away your second chance,” Kyoko spat, ignoring how her tears escaped the barrier of her waterline. “Be my guest.”

_I need you._

It was silent, except for Kyoko’s breathless gasps and Sayaka’s calm breathing but then she was yelling, screaming, screeching.

_I need you to stay._

Kyoko’s lungs burned unbearably.

_Please don’t go._

As those traitorous tears left their footprints behind and snot started to cling to her lips…

_Not again._

Kyoko finally let go of the forgotten apple in her hand to wrap her arms around Sayaka because otherwise, she was afraid that she would never be able to pull herself together again and she should know better than to care… it had taken away so much— her family, her hope, her life—but…

She had stopped being able to see Sayaka’s face clearly and that fact made her sob even harder, fingertips digging into Sayaka’s cape to feel her warmth, how her muscles twitched with the pressure, how she was here,  _here, **here**_  and  **not dead**  or twisted by her grief.

“You need more grief seeds, right?” She was interrupted by a cough and she held on to Sayaka tighter, pressing her cheek over the witch’s kiss to hide it away. “To keep your gem clean? I’ll-I’ll-“ She stammered, trying to get the words past the tightness of her throat and the airlessness of her chest. “I’ll get them—I’ll carry your grief… Just.”

Kyoko closed her eyes, inhaling deliberately, deeply. “Stay.”

_Stay alive. For me._

“Oh, jeeze…Kyoko…” Sayaka’s tone was gentle and soothing—lilting comfortingly but her nails pierced Kyoko’s waist as she pulled her closer. “I…I’m not going anywhere.”

It was a windy night and not a cloud in the sky when crystal droplets started to fall.

“You should know that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from my Tumblr: loveinthebones.


End file.
